@ameir Has Fox News ever pushed anti-Hindu propaganda? They should at least be forced to stop describing themselves as “fair and balanced.”
If “happiness” is just norepinephrine, dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins then all you need to find happiness is some great drugs.
Props to @uhaul on their email collection strategy. Offer me $1 off the transaction? Hell yeah you can have my email address. #sellout
ncpolicelogs A Parkton fire truck was shot by a 12 gauge shotgun that discharged in a burning home due to the heat. http://t.co/urHKxZJD
@dcm Correct; several of the legitimate uses of these weapons are against humans - hunting with them would be only in a survival situation.
@dcm @GanderMtn They’re semi-automatic firearms; hunting is but one of many possible uses. http://t.co/bfTCEV5a
TIL that Washington State has a “mutual combat” law that allows two consenting adults to fight in public. http://t.co/eZvYNngy
Looper was the second best time travel movie I’ve seen, right after Primer.
@whosthedoss I got a “How to be a Gentleman” guide and a grand in cold hard cash. Thinking of hitting the strip club circuit.
@whosthedoss Sounds logical since you’re the only heathen who has strayed from Jesus’ light.
I can’t find a single instance of an intentional shooting ever occurring at a gun show. Interesting.
@hoorayimhelping @flyosity When I read the proposal this morning, I was crying. Because I was laughing so hard.
@hoorayimhelping PULL IT TOGETHER, MAN!
Isn’t it a poor business decision to run your billion dollar company on your competitor’s virtualization platform? http://t.co/kKPZyDQA
@jefft Maybe I should Instagram the author asking for clarification.
According to this book, it’s acceptable for a gentleman to send congratulations or condolences via email, but not Facebook or Twitter. Shit.
neiltyson Actually, since days of the week are named for Gods, I instead bid “Happy Day 359” to all Atheists & Agnostics of the world.
TTM_Rook Got That 60” I Been Asking For, New PS3, & Like 4 Bills! No iPhone 5 Tho… -_-
/r/Futurology is debating /r/collapse from Jan 4 - 7. Dis gonna be epic. http://t.co/tQizmGgq
Online marketing gurus: can you recommend a good SEO expert/firm to help a small family business?
JeremyClarkson Americans. It took us 40 years to get rid of Piers Morgan. Pleasse don’t send him back.
Perception is not reality. http://t.co/XpTXLTPq
“A witty saying proves nothing.” - Voltaire
“When a Gentleman makes his way down a row in a theater, he faces those in their seats and does not force them to stare at his backside.”
Should I be insulted if my Christmas gift from my parents was a book entitled “How to be a Gentleman?”
@neiltyson Assault rifles have selective fire between semi & full auto. No Walmart sells assault rifles b/c they are regulated by the NFA.
@akpurtell Safety is an illusion. Even maximum security prisons can’t prevent their inmates from shanking each other.
DEVOPS_BORAT In devops is end of world only when EC2 is run out of capacity.
When you say “the statistics are quite clear” I hear “I’m only providing the statistics that support my argument.”
Want to get more out of Gmail? https://t.co/sGTxsc1r
@jasonmalone Slow down, brah.
@flyosity The Newton shooter did only kill 1/10th as many children as Obama, though that isn’t a stat worthy of NYT Person of the Year.
30 round AR-15 magazines have quadrupled in price in the past week. I just might be able to retire early at this rate… thanks, FUD!
@flyosity LOL you’d think they would have picked someone who is responsible for fewer deaths of children.
ncpolicelogs The plot thickens MORE: 2 years ago Durham officer Kevin A. Stewart (who looks remarkably the same) was fired for DWI. http://t.co/8P1Q7h3v
ncpolicelogs The plot thickens: Durham officer Kelly A Stewart was shot yesterday; the suspect’s attorney says Stewart shot himself. http://t.co/dRBY2xSs
@pmccall777 @nathanmarz Nature sure is beautiful.
If Instagram can manage to sell MY photos, I’ll just be glad someone got some use out of them.
TIL about Feederism. ಠ_ಠhttp://t.co/f1IozSaT
The Internet Archive is in critical need of more storage space. https://t.co/G2rkhA9g
In the not-so-distant future, what we now consider “personality” will be explained away as structural and chemical functions of the brain.
A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.
Nice! Though I’ve been backing up my tweets with TweetNest for years. http://t.co/luWHadvy
@gigq I’m actually upgrading one of my handguns. Due to all the FUD in the firearm community, I can sell it for more than I paid for it.
@hoorayimhelping I love seeing your smiling mug right next to “Fuck everyone”
CT & NJ have some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation. Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about mental health!
It’s funny that everyone’s saying “fuck the NRA” today; I reluctantly became a member yesterday in order to join a local rifle range!
I’m pulling a @gigq device upgrade, except my device is mechanical rather than electronic.
kheimerl “Ahem, uh. Some users would take to drawing penises.” http://t.co/3t0tNL6s
The birth rate is too high and the death rate is too low. No worries though; this will correct itself as resource scarcity increases.
@Lisa0xf Maybe they think that will make AAA get there twice as fast.
I really don’t understand why so many people put AAA bumper stickers on their cars; it’s not exactly a prestigious club.
At this point, that political sign in your yard just says “I’m a dick.”
netflix Each month, we rank ISPs based on average speed. Where does your provider stack up? http://t.co/v9EE1DCX
PHP is kind of a big deal in NC. http://t.co/v4b2ZhEn
Nice job, @belk. Bug in your payment checkout page means I can’t place my order, then when I try to contact customer service I get an error.
DRUNKHULK BOOKFACE IS DOWN! RUN PEOPLE! YOU FREE! YOU FREE!
Seems like a lot of moped riders don’t fasten their helmet strap. Not surprising since they’re likely on a moped due to poor life decisions.
@pig_poetry The cost of running the prison is socialized. The Pound Me In The Ass part is free.
@jefft If you got the Barolo, it could be iffy.
@pig_poetry The inmates get to stay for free; actually a lot of them get paid a pittance for labor. http://t.co/zMFEf55e
The worst things in life are free as well.
@abbydactyl FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU
torrentfreak NZBMatrix Shuts Down Citing Piracy Troubles http://t.co/9641SwYl
An infinite number of things to do, an undetermined finite amount of time in which to do them. Sounds like a #bigdata problem to me!
If you value a currency backed by the “full faith and credit” of the govt, why not put value in one backed by (more credible) cryptography?
MarkPlayingFoos with mouth open http://t.co/brHvNlFw
@covati Been trying to vote for days. What a joke. http://t.co/Jtw0NGmG
DEVOPS_BORAT You are not true Java programmer if you are not write enterprise software for personal project.
Million dollar idea: an Eskimo Bro finder Facebook app.
In a sane world, ammunition would become cheaper over the decades as production process efficiency increases. But nooooooooo…
@ameir @Oatmeal What is the Internet coming to when you can’t even make a lighthearted rape joke any more?
If you gray out your entire web site with a ‘like us on Facebook’ dialog when I ALREADY DO, you get my ಠ_ಠ/cc @soundisstyle @fiveandadime
@basicphysics It looks like you’ve got a JQuery bug on your web site that is breaking it quite badly.
neiltyson Last time, defendant was accused of selling 3000milligrams of cocaine. I told the Judge it was just 3grams. Was then sent home
The effort required to find subreddits relevant to my interests is shameful. Come on @reddit; recommendation engines are easy to implement.
@pmccall777 @mark_a_phelps I don’t get urinating several pints just to get tipsy. #water
@mark_a_phelps I received them in the mail on Saturday and used them last night! Got em for free by using my extra Amazon rewards points.
@Oatmeal Rape joke backlash in 5… 4… 3…
@mark_a_phelps My go-to recipe, though I replace the Jalapeños with habaneros. http://t.co/RYE67pED
@mark_a_phelps lemme know when you wanna hit up the Club Room at Whiskey to smoke a stogie
Netflix open sources Hystrix, a “resilience engineering” library. http://t.co/kHSHqIpY