you shouldn’t cry over spilt milk, but it’s socially acceptable to choke a bitch over spilt beer http://www.thatsfloriduh…
@pmccall777 @ddahlke EDWARD FOURLOKOHANDS!!!!1one
people who brush their teeth in public restrooms creep me out… standing there, eyeballing me, judging. SEE A DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR OCD.
anyone want to get together this weekend for a game of edward fourlokohands?
@jefft ARE YOU IN THE INTERNET?!?!?
my internets are faster than your internets http://speedtest.net/res…
@hoorayimhelping YOU try getting 4 beta softwares to all play nice with each other
I did not fail 700 times. I succeeded in proving those 700 ways don’t work. After eliminating the ways that didn’t work, I found the answer.
when life gives you lemons, paint that shit gold.
why do backup batteries for smoke detectors / carbon monoxide detectors / security systems ALWAYS fail in the middle of the night?
my cashier at home depot has the same voice (and some of the look) as Ted Williams
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man gay midget donkey porn and he’ll hate you for a lifetime.
Honda says it’s working on seat belts for motorcyclists, but in reality it’s more like an ejection seat :-) http://goo.gl/q66W8
@ddahlke like this? http://greasymoose.com/t…
@knucklesandwich did you not douche it out of your sinuses this morning?
That’ll buff out (Top Gear) - http://t.co/AialJJL
every racing cockpit video ever: http://www.youtube.com/w…
Leon Black explains what to do when a man disrespects you: http://www.youtube.com/w…
@pmccall777 we’re on the Intenet and I’m ALWAYS RIGHT ON THE INTERNET
@pmccall777 you’re just lucky that Eclipse tells you when you misspell your single letter variable names
…still waiting for the day when computers can keep up with my typed commands…
It hurts to work with bleeding edge software that excels at complex data manipulation yet makes it a struggle to find the mode in a set.
A layman looks at my fence and sees 600 evenly spaced, redwood-stained pickets. The Warden sees only 600 potential points of failure.
oh, the irony. http://twitpic.com/4c7l8w
OH @bronto: “we need to hire someone new so that we can lemon party them”
@ameir @hoorayimhelping did somebody say FANBOY-OFF?!?!
iPhone users at work are nerd equivalents to those Tea Party idiots. They don’t let facts get in the way of their holier-than-thou attitudes
@MichaelCasp NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE, YOU WON’T
Amazon’s Android app store launches today - install it and get the NEW Angry Birds game for free! http://goo.gl/IrmZF
@nicholascordell o hai
sometimes, if you want a bug fixed, you just have to download the source code, find the bug, fix the bug, and submit the patch yourself
the question of how to carry a handgun on a long motorcycle trip has been answered: http://goo.gl/VUuqe
@pmccall777 surely they provided it with some horsey ear plugs
A good horse will let you use his head as a rest. A great horse will adjust windage and elevations for you. http://i.imgur.com/LB0e1…
today’s ride was a success. you can view the GPS logged route here http://goo.gl/WKsrB
@jefft riding the bus is like watching reality TV
The difference between riding in a car and climbing onto a motorcycle is the difference between watching TV and actually living your life.
multiple orders of magnitude speedup achievement unlocked. time to celebrate with free beer.
@MichaelCasp wish I could say it was real…
@MichaelCasp is that like the reverse of http://i.imgur.com/mUddf…
@MichaelCasp u mad, bro?
day 2 of debugging a half hour long job that doesn’t die until it’s 99% complete
@MichaelCasp I found a wench, but she turned on me.
@jefft did you learn that from the kindergartners?
Why climb the corporate ladder when you can just take the elevator?
@lucas_weber @gigq @flyosity well duh, the meltdown was caused by an earthquake / tsunami, which are both Acts of God.
@gigq just think of it as the opportunity of a lifetime. If you survive, it’ll be a great story to tell when you’re an old geezer.
A SQL interface to my NoSQL data!?!? It’s the best and worst of both worlds! http://goo.gl/bQsaD
It’s March and I ain’t even mad.
it’s not a good sign when the documentation site for the beta technology you’re running is down
a handicapped placard is not a license to drive retarded
this man is an engineer http://t.co/kHPpKpa
this Duke grad student lives out of a van so that he can graduate debt-free http://spartanstudent.bl…
@akuaa hm well i’ve gotten virus laced emails from n00bs and sometimes a year later a photo of the ‘upgraded’ vehicle i sold them
@ameir don’t forget @willsendall !
I certainly never expected to learn so much about Garrison Keillor’s sex life
I love how Garrison Keillor is wearing a suit and tie and red suede sneakers
@hoorayimhelping i heard if you bitch enough you can get one for free
Even the Amish love @charliesheen http://twitpic.com/46z6e0
dreary day means more research for the motorcycle trip. any suggestions for points of interest to add to my list? http://justpaste.it/95i
2 new stores opened down the road. now we just need a gun shop! http://t.co/A2DtpIo
@carpedurham business is booming but I guess their landlord wants a different style restaurant in that space
it’s my displeasure to announce that Chai’s Noodle Bar & Bistro is closing soon. They hope to open elsewhere and are looking for locations.
@carpedurham have you been informed that Chai’s Noodle Bar & Bistro is closing soon? They hope to open elsewhere but have no plans yet.
@mark_a_phelps if you bothered to go to class, you wouldn’t forget
My hands were freezing on the ride in this morning. Then I remembered that I now have electrically heated grips! Toasty.
@flyosity LOLOLOL have you ever met a programmer?
Just realized my house is desperately missing a liquor cabinet and a gun cabinet. Perhaps I could save money and combine these two ideas…
@flyosity try typing in the right password
the 20 year war between the Subaru STI and the Mitsubishi Evo is over. STI wins by default as Mitsubishi commits seppuku http://goo.gl/d17Pr
@lesliejenna I try to be as much of a dick IRL as on Internet
@jasonmalone @tylerstaproom I’ll be there in 40 min!
@flyosity …
windscreen company cancelled my $500 order b/c they don’t want to make any more ~$1 brackets for my model motorcycle. capitalism FAIL.
Lisa0xf apple fans frothing at the mouth
@hoorayimhelping infographic FTW http://www.treehugger.co…
@hoorayimhelping gotta conserve water, bro. yellow is the new green.
@ameir I don’t get it. is the punch line وقل ربي ارØمهما كما ربياني صغيرا
OK, NC - when are we going to ban spray paint? http://bit.ly/gTaMdi
@MichaelCasp follow @charliesheen and find out
rundlesreposts @spgilmore try this: take a piece of paper, fold in half. now fold it again, like 5 times. now get another piece of paper. BOOM. different
BullCityBurger Need to dispel the rumor that BCBB is like a restaurant with a lobster tank. No you can’t pick your own cow.
@hoorayimhelping how about http://herpdating.com ?
We’ve enjoyed so much freedom for so long that we have forgotten how much blood it cost to establish the Bill of Rights. http://goo.gl/tJ5BU