I don’t always enjoy writing API integrations, but when I do, it’s with the @ICHCheezburger API.
ncpolicelogs Never bring a milkshake to a gun fight. http://t.co/nWoPVlZm
The shortest distance between 2 points is a geodesic. Alternatively, shortest distance between 2 points is a wormhole. http://t.co/zK4B0ep4
@neiltyson Agree? Shortest distance between two points is a geodesic. Alternatively, the shortest distance between two points is a wormhole.
If there are two types of people I hate, it’s those who use social networking to complain about their pet peeves… and hypocrites.
TheOnion BREAKING: Capitol building being evacuated. 12 children held hostage by group of armed congressmen. #CongressHostage
alexbonin Death to ragweed, cats, and dust mites!
Dumbass activists want us to Occupy Wall Street / Occupy Durham, but don’t want to admit that it’s a precursor to class warfare. ಠ_à²
Verizon pushed the Gingerbread update to my phone yesterday and re-introduced a 2-yr-old Android bug. Now I have a $600 hand warmer. ಠ_à²
“Lawn care professionals” left me a note saying that I cut my grass too short. I use the highest setting on my mower. ಠ_à²
@mikestable He’s worth it, bro. http://t.co/HnCRtTyq
@mikestable Scout is $10. Remi is $75. I guess they know he’s a badass motherfucker.
I would love to know why the government thinks Remi is worth 7.5 Scouts. Are there really different tax rates for each breed?
@bendefoe We’re all adults here; it’s OK to say “fucking.”
@flyosity Reddit’s dun fried your brain
@flyosity ZOMG second time in a week you’ve neglected to attribute your source ಠ_à²
This is not a joke: fuck Tony Bologna. http://t.co/X5mNMz16
@mikestable dude, it’s your new favorite show! http://t.co/3JCUAEHX
@emilepetrone Al-Jazeera
@jasonmalone god damnit malone, these untapped tweets do nothing but make me thirsty
It’s never too early to start planning for Halloween at @bronto
hoorayimhelping var MAYBE = Math.random() % 2 === true || false;
An alien invasion from outer space could be a great opportunity for humans to realize we’re all on the same side & stop killing each other.
We are all one in the Fourth Dimension.
@Sheldon_Cooper_ I’m quite disappointed in the illogical and unsafe removal of your mask in the midst of an active paintball battle.
Bitterjojo How do I unsubscribe from all these work e-mails?
Durham, NC: A sign for those who live without God http://t.co/tYZFDOTK
@McGinity about an hour ago. I use Twitter for my random insight nuggets, Facebook for fucking around, G+ for intellectual conversations.
ncpolicelogs 33,000 upstanding NC citizens have obtained a concealed carry permit in the past year! http://t.co/T1RGetUb
SethMacFarlane June 2013: President Rick Perry declares that before the decade is out, America should commit to landing a man on the sun.
Got home from St Louis at 11 PM. 5 minutes later my RAID alarm went off. Thanks a lot, Murphy.
The bigger the bullet, the harder they fall.
jrh3k5 I went in expecting to learn about product engineering, left wanting to move to Amsterdam. #strangeloop
“Product Engineering is Step Two of the Underpants Gnomes Algorithm” -@bmf #strangeloop
@mattmeis I’d rather die by satellite than via car crash or heart failure :-P
@mattmeis sensationalist statistics. Those are the odds that ANY of 300M people get hit. Your odds are 1 in billions.
Most awesome experience today was learning about a revolutionary piece of software & then watching it be open sourced for the good of us all
@simadown AVAST, YE HAIRY MONADS!
@cashion TL;DL we need more flexible programming models (via generics) that can evolve similar to cells. the details are over my head.
@ahabra you’re in good company
benhardy Another Sussman gem, this guy is GOLD: “I hate computer languages, almost all of them, even the ones that I invented”. #strangeloop
I wish I could claim to have absorbed more than 1% of Dr. Sussman’s keynote. Excuse me, I have to go lie down now. #strangeloop
Oatmeal Why Netflix is splitting itself in two http://t.co/tbJTTzqX
“Vim may be a dinosaur, but it’s THIS dinosaur: http://t.co/Z2Pzxups” - @wnodom
It took great effort to refrain from shouting out “that’s what she said” during @chacon’s presentation. git head —force —hard #strangeloop
@emilepetrone vim all the way, though I use Eclipse when writing Java
“Use Vim if you’re cool, Emacs if you’re… older.” -Scott Chacon #strangeloop
OH: “They fucked that up like Soviet Russia”
stevenf I’d like to apologize about the way we handled the Netflix price increase by HURRRR DURR INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM OUTER SPACE
“We’re going to have 900 geeks here - we need more power!” http://t.co/mKp2BI6G #strangeloop #derp
“There is nothing new in computer science. We just keep re-discovering the same things in slightly different ways.” Erik Meijer #strangeloop
@flyosity @mark_a_phelps I’m on top of it
WHERE THE HELL IS THE ROOT BEER IN THIS TOWN?!?!?
@seanmcnichol good; most kids these days don’t get exposed to enough germs
RT @anonops: The revolution may not be televised, but it will be tweeted #TakeWallStreet #OccupyWallStreet >> http://t.co/w8CoaQhM
@alexbonin If I didn’t know any better, I’d say your Twitter account is on drugs
@lesliejenna @LivingSocial That’s not a “good deal” for a Concealed Carry Class. Mine was $75 at full price. http://t.co/CqCnGg0p
ZOMG @DPAC - Louis C.K., John Oliver, and Weird Al are all coming in October! http://t.co/NkQUmK50
darthvader The best part of waking up is ewok in your cup.
I miss scaffolding http://t.co/xR2EUaoW
It’s never a good sign when you come home to find lines spray painted all over your yard.
@jefft make sure you scare them straight so’s they don’t become a Class C like yourself
Sadly, birthdays have become a spamfest of automated emails from forums you no longer visit and marketers whose products you don’t want.
Nice job, @twitter! My Twitter account was compromised & within 60 seconds they had removed the tweet, changed my pw, & sent me an email!
@Bitterjojo Twitter is the new (micro)blog, and etc etc etc…
If I’ve learned one thing from attending land rezoning meetings, it’s that the average citizen has not a fucking clue how their govt works.
Can’t make this up: Fox News opinion piece stating that child labor is tolerable b/c it’s better than child prostitution http://t.co/dBbtP9Y
In the future, anyone with creativity & technical aptitude can create music from uniquely generated vocals/sounds that emulate dead artists.
Once you go solid state for your hardware stack, you never go back.
at the Bull City Rumble with @dawleywood http://t.co/MirmCiV
Yep, this really happened. http://t.co/tHuom5G
My new work laptop came with Windows 7. First thing I did was open IE to download Chrome… and IE locked up.
@covati profile of a power user
The moment you accept living in the “iron cage” of social acceptability is when you should shoot yourself in the face. http://t.co/YudMYqh