ncpolicelogs A Lexington man has been charged with making a fake $1 million bill and trying to spend it at Walmart. http://t.co/C6XLpmhP
When you build a house w/cheap labor that can’t read English you get half the crawlspace vents installed upside-down & thus they don’t close
@ameir only if you’re OUTSIDE!
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. It is the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead
“They must find it hard to take Truth for authority who have so long mistaken Authority for Truth.” - Gerald Massey
How is it legal for radio ads to have “fine print” that is played so quickly it’s incomprehensible?
@pmccall777 Amazon jeans FTW!
julien early means nothing unless you know how to use it
Just because you’re breathing doesn’t mean you’re alive.
The phrase of the day: “dependency injection unresolvable circular reference”
ncpolicelogs Durham PD is pushing the slogan “have fun, but don’t shoot a gun” to curb celebratory gunfire on New Year’s Eve. http://t.co/MlCgxzW5
I pay door-to-door salesmen with reality checks.
“There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt.” - President John Adams
Come on, Kroger: frozen pizza should never share an aisle with feminine hygiene products.
@rands On the flip side, I seriously doubt that computers will ever be “fast enough” for us power users.
RT @rands: Anytime… anytime… I’m sitting there waiting for my computer or phone to do something, I silently seethe with compounding inne …
@seanmcnichol alas, I am attending a wedding reception on NYE
neiltyson Christians: MerryChristmas; Jews & Muslims: HappySunday; Atheists & Agnostics: HappyDay359 (Days of week are named for gods)
@cgarmstrong @flyosity @ameir @jefft @hoorayimhelping ‘Tis a fine beard. When I stroke it thusly, do I not appear more intellectual?
@flyosity @ameir @jefft @hoorayimhelping Guess what I got for Xmas… http://t.co/tCOQZfNi
Imgur is down. Guess this means I’ll have to try to enjoy Christmas…
@flyosity I’d go with your middle finger. Don’t support organizations that promote homophobic Christian values.
@mark_a_phelps I installed ubuntu on my parents computer 3 years ago and haven’t regretted it
The future holds no place for Luddites.
mattmeis I don’t like when people tell me to “fly safe”, like I have something to do with it. Three cheers for “sitting safe”. #atthebar
The new season of Beavis & Butt-Head is true to form; I love their social commentary on Jersey Shore / Twilight / etc.
It’s the day before a long holiday weekend, you say? Murphy’s law is in full effect.
@weatherchannel your hour-by-hour page has been malformed for over a week now. http://t.co/wKJcSN9W
ditzkoff .@louisck says sales of his online special have topped $1 million (in 10 days) and he’s giving $280,000 to charity. http://t.co/uLsE1NMt
@gigq no, you know better than that. the wires are always there, the façade just shifted a bit to expose them.
You know what’s awesome? Having a neighbor who works for a beer distributor.
@colopy Now THAT’s how you use Twitter!
@seanmcnichol whoa, haven’t been in a rush, eh?
ConanOBrien Instead of giving my staff a holiday bonus, I blew all the money on tiny pigs and tiny furniture. Enjoy: http://t.co/8AUi43Ez #LiveCocoCam
This is your friendly reminder that the Founding Fathers bestowed the Second Amendment upon us as protection against the NDAA / AUMF.
ncpolicelogs Conspiracy theories abound as Candor, NC Commissioners refuse to explain why they fired 80% of the town’s police force. http://t.co/tuir90Gk
30% of Americans are now arrested by age 23. The justice system is no longer simply curbing aberrant social behavior. http://t.co/Ys8NTWQl
@mark_a_phelps why do you think it’s down!?!?
@colopy Now I wish I had an iPad!
SOPA Creator Lamar Smith has received $500,000 from the TV/Film/Music Industry http://t.co/0qJFJNvw
If you limit a comment field to 140 characters and your name isn’t Twitter, you think too highly of yourself.
@emilepetrone @BarackObama gave me hope, then he took it back. He promised change, and then he changed the wrong things.
@flyosity Newt says “I’ll do what I want,” Obama says “I want to suspend Habeus Corpus,” wat do? http://t.co/yvjuY3Uq
Senator @robportman (R, OH) sold our freedom for $272,853 #NDAA http://t.co/99ghdlRd
Screw all the jewelers running ads implying that any man who doesn’t buy his wife jewelry for Christmas will end up in the dog house.
Saw a bumper sticker today that said “calling for peace is unpatriotic.” I feel that this is an appropriate response: http://t.co/tqxTdq0h
@pmccall777 Shaking a can of Four Loko with a handful of coins in it will do the trick.
@knucklesandwich @supermarket $55 for 4GB? TROLOLOL
Decided stop describing ignorant drivers who almost kill me. Just bought a helmet-mounted video camera to publicly shame them instead.
baguettaboutit We’ve got deliciousness waiting to happen for you tonight. Try us out at Golden Belt 6-9.
EugeneMirman We’re only probably days away from Fox News deciding Christmas is a communist plot to redistribute wealth.
@emilepetrone Just one, which is all I need since I’ve only mastered being able to parse one stream of text at a time.
rundlesreposts After tomorrow, I’m spreading my wings. Learning to fly. Doing what it takes. Touching the sky. Taking a chance. Making a change. Deuces!!
Why would I buy a Kindle when it’s cheaper to buy the physical books on Amazon?
@rjFortunato @whitehouse Go third party! Check out http://t.co/yvjuY3Uq
@emilepetrone @whitehouse Ditto; I’m not participating in this petition charade any longer.
@whitehouse NDAA? SOPA? This tweet is a joke, right?
DEVOPS_BORAT 2012 is year of private cloud, Linux desktop and establish which of emacs and vi is better.
Can ANYONE explain to me the meaning of the saying “it ain’t beanbag” ? Google has no clue…
Living is the best revenge.
BuddyRoemer 30 Major U.S. Companies Spent More on Lobbying than Taxes: http://t.co/GAAiKCEC #followthemoney #getmoneyout #rootstrikers
denisleary Gary Busey just endorsed Newt Gingrich. Which actually makes perfect fucking sense.
@hoorayimhelping Law Enforcement Online? Yeah, unfortunately I have.
Good morning, America. Today marks 39 years since man last occupied the Moon. Feel free to join @neiltyson and myself in our disappointment.
One nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all white heterosexuals who keep their mouths shut and stay in the pre-approved zones.
SethMacFarlane I wonder what President the corporations are gonna buy us next year!
DEVOPS_BORAT Source of Facebook is tell me they are close of release TurboPHP.
@hoorayimhelping he must have been awestruck by all the cool-sounded buzzwords in your profile
flyosity Official Men In Black 3 trailer is out! http://t.co/WqbTo0id
@emilepetrone hmmm?
FreedomPop announces intent to offer free broadband services to all Americans http://t.co/75X5G1Ma
@gigq I bought it too, even though 80% of it is material he performed at DPAC (for which I paid $150!) :-P
@pmccall777 @mikestable I think I dun good this year. http://t.co/BClT4v7u
louisck I want to thank the living fuck out of everyone who is buying the special. http://t.co/JL0O24ZY.
@Lisa0xf It was awesome - only learned a few basics, yet I feel like I learned a ton. I want to learn more; I’m def going back regularly.
carpedurham ShabaShabu in Durham has closed and The Fish House is coming in it’s place http://t.co/yDAri7u3
@jefft I’m glad you asked. I was moments away from vomiting at the 30 min mark, but thankfully got “pad duty” rather than “punching drills.”
@abbydactyl true, but I love Camp so much that I’m actually considering it
@abbydactyl you might be interested in http://t.co/gxwvMzIv
First krav maga class kicked my ass, then I missed a 6 point buck (in my truck) by a foot on the 40 => 147 offramp. Not a dull night at all.
@ameir lul is that a real Worms mod?
All I want for Christmas is a crate of cheap .45 FMJ ammunition so that I can keep my skills honed. Oh, and world peace.
Give me liberty or give me the deaths of my oppressors.
@mattmeis @foundersbrewing ooh, I must sample this Devil Dancer
This sounds like the dumbest gimmick technology ever… until you realize that it can be installed on a motorcycle. http://t.co/0KnxyC2L
Awww, the Durham Sheriff sent me a courtesy postcard to remind me to renew my concealed carry permit! Hard to believe it has been 5 years…
@hoorayimhelping brute force; pretty sure during each cycle of the game loop, i checked the ship against every asteroid. no CPU load issues.
@hoorayimhelping yeah brah, I wrote Asteroids from scratch in C++ as a college graphics class project.
DEVOPS_BORAT Financial of company is inverse proportion of number of newsletter it send.
newsobserver An apparent bomb threat at the courthouse has delayed Michael Peterson’s hearing in #Durham: http://t.co/Z3337xmd
@gigq I’m asking on BEHALF of @ncpolicelogs :-P
police blocking off several blocks around the durham courthouse… lots of activity. anybody know why?
@emilepetrone Didn’t know you were so big; guess that explains why you had trouble keeping up with me on our SF tour :-P
I’ve never felt so ashamed after purchasing my contribution to @bronto’s White Elephant Gift Exchange. It’s going to be a good year.
As far as I can tell, NC is the only state that calls their Alcohol Law Enforcement division ALE. Somebody’s idea of a joke?
Oatmeal When using a dating site I always stop and ask myself “Who would Jesus do?”
ncpolicelogs A Hickory man crashed into a mobile DWI lab at 3 AM Sunday morning. Officers suspect he was driving while impaired. http://t.co/acGTFqOS
flyosity Free coffee at my local BP this morning. This makes up for the oil spill. Thanks guys!
DEVOPS_BORAT If your application is use HTTP and your company is not in cloudscape you need of protest! http://t.co/1od3Ajfa
RT @SethMacFarlane: Job-hunting tip: if you’re interviewing for a gang of cowboy bandits, bring your own bandana. They’ll think, “Hey, t …
kentbrew As usual, @hblodget nails it: “Capitalism without bankruptcy is like Catholicism without hell.” http://t.co/KImZ3MfH