Just ran into a captcha with a π symbol in it. Not cool, @reCAPTCHA, not cool.
jefft just another Halloween at @Bronto http://t.co/rXGFiXkr
You tend not to appreciate the lubricative qualities of body hair until after it’s gone.
Try as I might, I just don’t “get” poached eggs.
DEVOPS_BORAT For Halloween I am dress as LDAP server. I not like talk to anybody.
flyosity White House response to petition on treating marijuana like alcohol misses every key fact about the issue. http://t.co/8MZc04iY
@MichaelCasp @robbielimejello this is getting a little too weird for me
@MichaelCasp go on…
@jefft I didn’t say - I - was sticking to Twitter!
@jefft guess you’d better stick to Twitter, then…
@dapak at Suzanne’s desk
Testing out @bronto’s newest acquisition: Giant Jenga http://t.co/d1DarUfF
Just followed a @google Street View car in Durham… except that it was a @NAVTEQ car. Good luck winning THAT battle!
@ameir that’s not bad enough to earn you any Reddit karma
DemetriMartin Forecast: Today’s high depends on what you are taking.
Working on the Halloween costume while weighing the merits of staying true to character against the likelihood of getting fired.
Traffic circles will be the death of me yet. Just had someone miss my rear wheel by 6 inches entering the circle while I had right-of-way.
There’s a Steve Jobs quote on the window of this burger joint. Deification complete.
ncpolicelogs This is the face of a stone cold criminal. Bitch, real Gs move in silence like lasagna. http://t.co/D21PAINp
@hoorayimhelping hoorayurhelping
I put the “funk” in “functional alcoholic”
We need Dungeon Masters for the real world - life is a game, but the rewards system is broken. http://t.co/va9jCaTo via @julien
“Democracy is like a tambourine - not everyone can be trusted with it.” - John Oliver
@carolinewv psssssst delete that crap
Folks keep telling me to be PC, but I’m incapable of transforming into a personal computer.
If you call yourself an “Online Marketeer” I hate you even more than if you call yourself a “Social Media Expert”
As the Occupation spreads, so does the Police State. OWS has exposed the Militarization of US Law Enforcement. http://t.co/AMRznq0K
Economic collapse explained in 3 minutes: http://t.co/Pkcv11as
There are support groups for people who drive too fast: they’re called race tracks. Please seek help if you have a problem.
mattmeis I’ve said it before, & I’ll say it again: Locking your tweets is like putting a nickel in a vault. You aren’t as special as you might think.
In 100% of all fake-gun-related shootings, the victim is always the one with the fake gun.
RT @Bitterjojo: Those glove shoes are a great way to identify assholes at the gym.
H_Salamanca GDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGINGDINGDINGDING http://t.co/wY9UMZUF
@jefft @pmccall777 buzz buzz buzz. When I was a kid, we had mobile social local contests called RIDING BIKES AROUND.
@qwertying @adamrawlings some people marry non-humans
ncpolicelogs You need a place to store your bong. Do you choose D) the glove box where you also keep your registration? http://t.co/e1SapUX3
The smiling face of an oblivious cager is the last thing many motorcyclists ever see.
alexbonin Maintaining homeostasis
Almost wrecked the bike this morning when I passed a heavily pregnant woman who was smoking.
@pmccall777 My condolences, bro.
Roasted pumpkin seeds, like most foods, are enhanced with a dash of the Cock Sauce. http://t.co/lmqV9LIh
@jefft @ameir @gigq @flyosity I’m looking forward to you guys showing off Siri to me http://t.co/Lvzc3CKZ
I must say, @mikestable is setting the bar high in his campaign for @bronto social committee http://t.co/9WTswMpl
@flyosity @ameir come on guys, the dude probably has 5,000 iPhones to not deliver today - give him a break.
@jefft I was going for the more obscure items, but thanks for the input
Things that are better naked: motorcycles, guns, dsl, batteries, beaches
It was a rush job, but I think my hipster bronto painting turned out OK http://t.co/Sl1iPFZV
@Bitterjojo COCKUPY BALL STREET!!
@ameir Apparently Sherifi also was found guilty of two weapons counts. That’s downright un-American!
@ameir Sounds like it would have been pretty tough to find their peers. I mean, shit, I only have 3 guns and 500 rounds of ammo myself!
SamuelLJackson Can-a muh fukkasay fuck on here?
@mark_a_phelps @flyosity @bmf I bet they’re the same jackasses who were gushing over Sussman’s incredibly dry keynote.
@bmf WHAT? Point out who didn’t like your presentation and I’ll take care of the rest.
SteveMcQuaid The University of North Carolina, the nation’s first public university, is 218 years old today. #UniversityDay #UNC #GoHeels
The biggest challenge of working at @bronto is not going insane from @dawleywood’s music. Currently playing: Nyan Cat smooth jazz remix.
I was perhaps a little too excited to see Jaleel White make an appearance on a recent episode of House.
Hi, I’m a software engineer. I want to make your job obsolete.
A true patriot must be ready to defend his country against his government. -Edward Abbey
I only read Reddit for the articles, I SWEAR. Especially now that /r/jailbait has been shuttered.
Reports coming in of coordinated moves by riot police against Occupy Wall Street protestors at 2AM in several major cities… cowards!
At this rate, Breaking Bad may very well surpass The Wire for Best TV Show of All Timeâ„¢
@ericboggs damn, I’m going to call and ask for a blowjob
@Jeremy_DeGroot SHHHH I was leaving those as a surprise in case someone tries any funny business.
Nobody break into my house for the next few days - the system board for the alarm controller melted down.
GPS logged google map of my Iron Butt ride over the weekend: http://t.co/UYsRECqo
@flyosity I think you mean can’t TOUCH type - he types just fine!
@ameir Nice. Karma thievery is a sincere form of flattery.
I’m not entirely sure why, but seeing Twitter hash tags as watermarks on TV shows is really pissing me off.
Completed the Iron Butt Bun Burner challenge by riding 1,500 miles in 33 hours, 59 minutes.
late lunch in Florence, SC
Just completed the Iron Butt Saddle Sore challenge by riding 1,000 miles in 16 hours, 43 min. Headed to ATL for a nightcap w/ @alexbonin
Having dessert in Birmingham
Highways with minimum speeds tell me the locals needed to have common sense legislated for them
@pmccall777 @mikestable I’m waiting to hear @dawleywood’s opinion on this matter
Memphis for dinner!
@emilepetrone just doing a 1500 mile motorcycle ride this weekend
Lunch in Knoxville
Breakfast in Hickory
Sunrise in the rear view http://t.co/tuyyTEWx
Departing for Memphis. The clock is running; 36 hours to complete 1500 miles.
T-minus 9 hours to launch; all conditions are “go” for launch.
@seanmcnichol yep, the Prime is supposed to be the new hotness. Advantages being it’s a pure Google phone; no bloatware installed on it.
@flyosity @ethank Stallman FTW! http://t.co/8dw0hsEe
@hoorayimhelping SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET HAS A GIRLFRIEND?!
dawleywood More Jobs lost under Obama’s watch
SiriLogs “Siri, make me a sandwich”
“Fuck off”
“Siri, sudo make me a sandwich”
“Don’t let the pink fool you, asshole.”
@flyosity Oh, you mean what Google Translate has been doing for 6 months?
DRUNKHULK TWO BEER EMERGE FROM FRIDGE! AND DRUNK HULK! DRUNK HULK TAKE LESS FROSTY ONE! AND THAT MAKE ALL DIFFERENCE!
michaelkbusch Truly outrageous that 99% of the cookies are consumed by 1% of the monsters on PBS. #occupysesamestreet
@Jeremy_DeGroot The Iron Butt Bun Burner (1500+ miles in 36 hours)
My plans for this weekend: http://t.co/p7LwrAPM
In the real world, winners know when to quit. Don’t fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy.
@seanmcnichol I, personally, would choose the Galaxy S II. http://t.co/HKCJB6wY
VeryShortStory After two days of riots, Steve rose from the ashes and returned to work. He waved his hand, the 4S was renamed 5 and the masses rejoiced.
VeryShortStory “Throw down your gun!” they yelled.
I fired at the bulldozer through the open window, defending the library against the onslaught of Kindles
Frustration is Googling for documentation and all but one of the results are YOUR OWN POSTS ASKING FOR AN EXPLANATION. http://t.co/A5WT701U
While taking out all the pint glasses from my cabinets because I decided I had too many, I dropped (and broke) an armload. Problem solved.
@ameir OMG WAT
When you have fat rolls on your shins it might be time for drastic action.
@mikestable P.S. when will you learn to call ME?
@mikestable were the burglers unsuccessful?
Protesting “corporate greed” makes you sound like dirty hippies. Protesting “lack of corporate accountability” makes you informed citizens.
ddahlke Woot, divorce is final!
@tab126 james joyce every sunday at 0930
This weekly “Motorcycle Sunday Brunch” event should be renamed “Team Divorce Lollerskating Group”
@ddahlke ZOMG WAT
The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
Bitterjojo If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself.