sitting on the couch |
I am a wii swordmaster |
dog farts fill the room
@shannonholato i think your tweet got cut off. you mean keep them ON?
wait, what? amber alert issued for a 9 month pregnant 12 yr old girl? http://idek.net/XD3
mel gibson jogging with his hand up a beaver http://idek.net/XCx
while on the bike (seen in slo-mo): large acorn falls from tree, bounces 5 ft straight back up in air, crashes into faceplate @ 60 mph
just got the biggest ‘oh shit’ look from the UPS guy as I opened the door to him throwing my package at the porch from 30 ft away.
“On a good day, Sansalone said he can make $20 an hour panhandling” (in Raleigh) http://www.wral.com/news…
are you a douchebag? if so, you can get $25 off hotels in vegas - http://www.vegas.com/dou…
@akuaa is something gonna accidentally my whole carbon?
Glock vs XD: http://bit.ly/19pxIM
@seanmcnichol sheeeeit I hit folks all the time going IN to bathrooms. btw, I’m told you should get VLC player and handbrake for video stuff
any bathroom designed by a decent engineer will have the doors be push for EXITing so that you don’t have to grab a handle full of germs…
new motorcycle land speed record: 367 MPH http://idek.net/WrW
day thus far: awoken @ 4 by dog, too sore to play rball, awoken @ 7 by dog who peed his crate, oatmeal explodes in microwave, what next?
seen this morning on I-40: convoy of 100 mini coopers, RV towing a truck hauling a motorcycle
@goddamndave yes, “a 99% solution that nobody has” == a previously nonexistent and currently nonexistent solution
anybody else had enough of the gratuitous use of autotune in pop music these days? please limit it to songs featuring T-Pain kgr8thx
when constructing a firing range, please ensure that the backstop is angled such that slugs are directed into the ground http://idek.net/WGF
Fox in Socks on beatbox: http://j.mp/10iduI
Worse is Better. A 50%-good shipped solution beats a 99% solution that nobody has b/c you’re endlessly tweaking it. Shipping is a feature.
I roll three Jedis deep |
The fleet of peeps that I creep |
All got vests underneath
you can’t go to the all-you-can-eat chinese buffet and NOT have a squid: http://yfrog.com/0237cgj
a REAL man would haggle down the outrageous price http://idek.net/V~t
finally broke down & used adaptec’s windows RAID mgmt software because I NEED to add drives to my array… and I found a critical bug. FML.
never gonna give you up… http://imgur.com/L5jUy.j…
RT @goddamndave: Naked weight: 191.8 lbs
my conservative estimate (based on $3B annual revenue) is that chick-fil-a loses out on $430M in annual revenue by being closed every sunday
@jasonmalone the jaguars are badass, and i could tell from the gleam in their eyes that they wanted to make a snack out of you
“At the bottom of the endless pile of paper work which characterizes all regulation lies a gun.” — Alan Greenspan
the war for the future will be fought in the past
would pay a tidy sum for a chemical to feed my trees that would save me from having to pick a grillion pine cones out of my yard this fall
dropped by the ABC store for the first time in months. the manager cringed when she recognized me (due to the pomegranate tequila fiasco)
started watching the 4400 - great show that i never heard anyone talk about. why not? the plot is quite similar to that of heroes…
stargate universe? a new stargate series? wooooooooooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
stage 2 of jaguar cichlid breeding is a success.. saved from being eaten by parents. i think there are over 500 fry http://idek.net/VNJ
http://twitpic.com/i7od6 - jaguar cichlid fry with their parents watching over
i’ve played a lot of half life mods… this one ranks up there http://bit.ly/rY6KG
RE: trending topic of “Burglar Arrested After Checking Facebook During Robbery.” - there was no victim during the crime thus it’s a larceny.
thanks for nothing @adaptec_support - paid $600 for your raid controller and you can’t respond to a yes / no question within a week?
badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger kitty http://idek.net/UzA
@sweetlydrifting plenty of people think they are special and can do whatever they want without consequence. y u think our prisons are full?
this is for my boy @knucklesandwich - http://bit.ly/UFoAH
it’s been far too long http://bit.ly/8H874
it’s so easy a monkey can do it http://bit.ly/emH7y
“WTF, did you get stung by a bee?”
“Yes, a bee… with herpes.”
yahoo’s IM infrastructure blows - getting consistent 20% packet loss
@seanmcnichol yea but only about half a dozen, and not any in the carolinas or virginia
encounter a merchant that charges extra for using a credit card? refuse & remind them it’s against their contract with the card company.
i hate: when someone replaces the bag in a trash can but doesn’t let the air out, thus you throw something in the can and it bounces out
80% of software engineers regard this as a truism: http://idek.net/Uk4
While you were all talking about Obama calling Kanye a jackass, he was talking about extending The Patriot Act
redecorating with some help from @etsy
Kim Jong-Il injects himself with the blood of virgins to stay young. And much, much more… http://idek.net/UXG
drinking an orange blossom pilsner squared - tasteful AND intoxicating… truly the queen bee of beers
swayze crazy 4 life
Team Deboccery (@lopp & @justinjas) is gearing up for some epic bocce ball play. Seems like most other brontos are too chicken to sign up.
wtf WRAL RSS feed: groom killed, skateboarder killed, ballerina killed, construction worker killed, former teacher killed, teen killed…
sure it’s a sad story, but he’d probably be alive if he bothered to wear a seat belt http://idek.net/UJD
Fare thee well gone away |
There’s nothing left to say |
But I’m a free born man of the USA
birthday present to myself: a Rainbow SE vacuum system with shampoo attachment. just vacuumed my living room 3 times; carpet is white again!
1 more year until my insurance rates drop. It’s all downhill after that, right?
@dcurtis that’s the phenomenon that is known as an ‘eargasm’ - i love it
Everyone wants to work for a nice person who is always right; engineers prefer a jerk who is always right over a nice person who is wrong.
best shirt.woot evar sold out in under 3 hours - goes back on sale tomorrow! http://bit.ly/hAuit
But if we learn from a mistake and become better for it, shouldn’t we be rewarded for the learning, rather than punished for the mistake?
Our world, with its rules of causality, has trained us to be miserly with forgiveness. By forgiving too readily, we can be badly hurt.
$&@* durham is outlawing dog tie-outs on jan 1. my HOA doesn’t allow cheap fences. where’s my bailout so that i’m not a criminal?
@ddahlke you can never have too much firepower when it comes to defending yourself against clay pigeons
buy this game, now. the price is right at $5 - http://idek.net/Tly
i haven’t purchased a firearm in over a year… i’m digging a rotating bolt, gas-operated semi-auto 12 gauge shotgun http://idek.net/TlV
@sweetlydrifting counterintuitive, i know. unless you’re in a hybrid car, coasting in gear cuts off the fuel and results in ‘engine braking’
@sweetlydrifting a bit - when you do that you’re actually using more gas than if you coast while in gear
very similar to an idea I had, though my version was a shotgun in a side holster like they use on horses: http://idek.net/TgT
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, Chuck Norris’ sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
$800 RAID controller. $800 worth of hard drives. Nary a peep from Adaptec support about running their RAID management software on Ubuntu.
The girl I’m dating is a porn star! Too bad she’s going to be so pissed off when she finds out.
when I find myself behind people at the grocery store, I truly believe that cooking is becoming a lost art
can anybody spare a few cups of brick mortar? my house is falling apart
who do i have to scalp to get a stator cover gasket?
http://twitpic.com/gt3pi - critter du jour
my new favorite tv character of all time is omar from the wire. can you name a more badass mother$&#%?
Bought a 2 packs of cigarettes; even researched the ‘best’ ones. Waste of $10. I can think of better ways to pay to slowly kill myself.
Anybody know of a ‘computer junkyard’ in or near Durham? I need a ~6 bay INTERNAL hunk of aluminum. 5.25” or 3.5” - doesn’t matter.
“I see you favor a .45”
“Tonight I do; I keeps one in the chamber in case you’re wondering. At this range even if I miss, I can’t miss.”
In accordance with my pledge to try new things, I purchased a 5 hr energy shot. Not feeling anything now other than a bad taste in my mouth.
Life; you know what that is? It’s the shit that happens while you’re waiting for the moments that never come.
nothing in the world is more expensive than ‘free’
who knew that you could buy cornhole for wii?
An 8 year old walks into a bar and orders a scotch. The bartender says “you’re too young to be in here” and kicks him out.
study shows that women are just as likely to cheat, but they’re better at lying to cover it up http://idek.net/Sg6
it is unfortunate that the wireless wii sensor bar inactivity alarm sounds exactly like my raid card’s degraded array alarm. whoops.
just scored 2500 on my first try, wii sports resort 100 pin bowling… 7 strikes in a row
can barely walk due to severe rope burns around both ankles. thanks, remi.
turns out my wii sensor bar wasn’t broken; the power output for the sensor bar on the wii is dead. wirelessly powered sensor bar FTW.
General error: 1205 Lock wait timeout exceeded; try restarting transaction.
was quite excited to get wii sports resort, only to discover that my neglected wii sensor bar has died at some point in the past 6 months
it’s been a long time but we meet once again, CSS… and fuck you again, IE… #missingmike9r
yes, stare at the code monkeys through the window for nearly a minute straight. yes, it’s incredibly awkward because it’s not one-way glass.
i need a dog bed wrapped with kevlar… nothing with fluffy internal padding is safe - not even denim
Everybody is drooling over Snow Leopard, but Karmic Koala can hold its own: http://idek.net/S68
The game’s out there, and it’s play or get played. That simple.